Yeerk Aftermath

[afabulouskilljoy]

Poison sits in the window seat in his and Jack's room. He knows he shouldn't be such a recluse but ever since he came back to himself he's felt... awful. For a lot of reasons.

First of all, there's a dead slug-thing in his head. What the fuck is that going to do to him? Jack says nothing will happen, says his body might even absorb it or something, but the whole idea of it freaks him the fuck out and he's praying to whatever deities he knows that he can just forget that it's in there. Secondly, he knows what he's done. Even if the Yeerk was in the driver's seat, Poison felt like he'd been tied up and gagged in the back, watching it all and unable to get out. Only a few times had he been able to break through, and even then not all the way. But he managed to keep the fucking slug from making him say anything too awful, and he'd managed to keep it from attacking Jack or Girl when they figured it out, when they locked him in the bedroom.

Thirdly, he's having flashbacks of the way he used to be, before he was out in the desert, after the war and before the rise of the Party Poison, when he'd taken the pills and listened to the messages and tried to get along. He pushes his hair back and leans back against the window frame, shivering.

He knows he can leave the room now, knows that the door isn't locked and that Jack and Girl aren't guarding him. But he can't bring himself to move. What if this is an illusion? What if it's fake? What if the yeerk is still alive and pretending to be dead to get out and do fuck knows what?

Nope, he's just going to sit here in his sheep pajamas and Jack's hoodie for a while. Or forever.

Comments

[mynameiscassie]

When I'd realized that Poison had been taken, I'd done what I could to make sure he'd gotten free. I couldn't let him know the truth, not until after I was sure everything was gone, everyone was safe.

By now, even the Yeerk Pool itself was gone. The ground beneath the city was just that. Ground. It was bizarre.

I needed to check in on them all now, though, so I made my way over. Finding Poison locked in his own room was . . . heartbreaking. I felt sick. He was going to hate me for this, I knew it.

I knocked, then took a breath and opened the door.

"Poison?" I called. My voice felt small to my own ears.

[afabulouskilljoy]

"It's open," he says, even as the door opens. He stays where he is, wrapped in a blanket on the window bench. "Hey Cassie."

He remembers talking to her, remembers everything. Part of him wishes that he didn't; he doesn't know if that would make it better or worse in the long run. "Everyone doing okay?"

[mynameiscassie]

"Yeah, I think so," I said. I hugged myself. "How are you? Jack told me you were . . . not really you."

[afabulouskilljoy]

"You mean Jack told you a slug thing invaded my brain and was driving me around? Yeah, that's a thing that happened." He shudders at the memory; it makes his stomach twist.

[mynameiscassie]

I swallowed, felt my hands fidgeting. "Alien," I whispered. I covered my mouth, like I could take the words back. I almost wished I could.

[afabulouskilljoy]

"Oh, it was an alien... fucking awesome," he sighs. Of course it fucking was. Then he looks over at Cassie. "How do you know that?"

[mynameiscassie]

"Because," I said, voice shaking a little, "at home, it's my job to fight them." And I'd obviously done a terrible job of that, and nobody knew that better than Poison.

[afabulouskilljoy]

"Awesome job," he deadpans, lolling his head to the window again. "A-plus effort there, Superman. I even fucking talked to you. Where the hell was the intervention then? Jack and Girl figured it out and locked my ass in here, and now this thing is fucking dead. Inside me."

[mynameiscassie]

"I'm sorry." My voice came out barely a breath. If I were Rachel, I might have railed against him, told him it wasn't my fault, I was only one person. If I were Marco, I might have laughed bitterly and agreed with him. If I were Jake, I might have looked at him sharply and told him there was only so much I could've done, out there, surrounded by the other Controllers.

But I was me. And all I could do was whisper that I was sorry, hug myself, and feel awful that I'd let this happen.

[krempuff]

It took Krem a couple of days to take himself over to Poison's house. It wasn't that Krem was avoiding him, but he was puzzling out exactly how he felt about the whole situation, what had happened and how he'd let himself be so stupid about the whole thing.

Dee was there, and she pointed to the stairs though Krem knew where they were. He went up to Poison and Jack's floor, and didn't see Jack on the way. When he knocked, his heart was fluttering in his chest.

"Poison?" he asked at the door. "It's Krem."

[afabulouskilljoy]

"Hey, come in."

There's a weird kind of trepidation in Poison's voice. By the time Krem's through the door, he's standing up, wrapped in a blanket. He has no idea what to say to Krem other than, "I'm sorry I couldn't stop it."

Because Poison fucking knows everything that happened, watching it through his own eyes like a fucking prisoner. No matter how loud he screamed, Krem couldn't have heard him.

[krempuff]

Krem came in. He watched Poison adding layers, adding protecting, and then he came toward him. He pulled Poison toward the bed, and sat down on the edge, holding Poison against him.

Just a couple weeks ago, they'd been screwing around while Poison had been a playfully flirtation girl version of himself. Krem pressed a kiss against Poison's temple.

"It wasn't you," he said softly. "And if I hadn't wanted to, I wouldn't have."

[afabulouskilljoy]

Poison leans against him, moves a little to try and wrap Krem up in the blanket too. "I know, I just-- this is so fucked up, man." He closes his eyes for a second. "It's still-- it's in my fucking head," he hisses. "It's dead and it's in my head."

[krempuff]

Krem came, graciously, under the blanket, and sort of bowled them both over onto the bed. He stretched and curled and made himself comfortable, holding Poison against him.

"I know," he said, with the softness of intimate familiarity with the situation. "I know. No part of this isn't fucked up."

[afabulouskilljoy]

Poison snuggles up to Krem, eyes drifting shut. Then they snap open again. "Shit, man. How are you doing? I'm sorry I haven't come to see you." He sent a text after his yeerk died - and after Jack took the handcuffs off - but he hadn't followed up, too caught up in the realization of everything that had happened.

[krempuff]

"Oh, I'm..." Krem lifted a hand and wobbled it. He was healing. There was no tattoo this time to gauge that, though he'd thought about it. He didn't know what he would get. So, instead, he was just doing whatever he wanted.

He smiled at Poison and kissed his forehead. "You're fine. Don't worry about me."

[afabulouskilljoy]

"Do you know me? Of course I'm gonna worry." Poison nestles close, staring at nothing. "It's really fucked up," he murmurs, shaking his head a little. "And we can just... be not okay together. What happened to you? Like, I don't remember seeing you after I got you infested."

[rockabillyboy]

It's been a strange couple of weeks. Jack feels a bit like a ghost in his own house, coming and going silently, silent in sock-feet. He draws a lot, works on schoolwork, sits beside Poison, makes him eat. He pads back into the bathroom after his shower, towel wrapped around him and slides onto the windowseat with Poison.

"Hey, baby."

[afabulouskilljoy]

Poison's trying. He's trying to snap back out of this shit but it feels so fucking weird and it scares him, the things that happened. He looks over at Jack and he smiles at him, because he's in a towel and he's fucking beautiful.

"Hey," he murmurs, immediately sliding over to snuggle against Jack, relishing in the realness of him. "I'm sorry I'm like-- I don't even fucking know. I'm gonna snap back, I promise. I just. This was really fucking weird and I'm kind of just starting to get hit by that."

[rockabillyboy]

"Still wet," says Jack, by way of apology as Poison wraps around him like that. It doesn't stop him wrapping his arms around Poison and holding him close. "Take your time, baby. I'll be right here. Promise."

[afabulouskilljoy]

"I don't mind." Poison snuggles into him anyway, not caring that Jack is wet. "I know, I just-- I don't want this shit holding me back but it's just. It's really fucking weird to know and remember everything that happened."

He looks at Jack, frowning a little. "I know it's not my fault but I'm sorry for the shit it said to you. I know it wasn't me but... it came out of my mouth."

[rockabillyboy]

"Nothing I couldn't handle, baby," says Jack, shrugging as much as he can with his arms wrapped around Poison and his chin resting on the top of his head. "You only compared me to Korse once."

[afabulouskilljoy]

"I didn't do shit," he mumbles. "But I was so fucking pissed in there." He sighs and tips his head to kiss Jack's chest. "I love you," he murmurs. "I'm sorry I-- I don't know. I feel like I let this happen, or something." Poison knows that's not true, but he got himself into a situation that enabled it.

[rockabillyboy]

"I know it wasn't you," says Jack, stroking Poison's back. "You know what I mean." He squeezes Poison's tight. "You couldn't have done anything to avoid it."

[afabulouskilljoy]

Poison wonders about that, but he doesn't argue. Instead he moves a little so he can see Jack's face, so he can hold it between his hands and kiss him. "I missed you," he murmurs.